The Exit Interview Most Women in Consulting Never Have (But Should)
You've thought about leaving.
Maybe not seriously. Maybe just in those moments when you're missing another dinner, catching a 6am flight, or watching a colleague announce she's "pursuing other opportunities."
You've looked at job postings. You've talked to women who've left. You've considered internal roles. You've thought about what it would be like to just... stop.
But you haven't made a decision. Because you're not sure what the right decision even is.
Here's what I've learned after coaching dozens of high-achieving women through this exact moment: The reason you can't decide isn't because the decision is hard. It's because you haven't gotten clear on what you actually want.
Why Most Women Stay Stuck in the "Should I Stay or Go" Loop
Most women in consulting spend months (sometimes years) cycling through the same pattern:
They feel exhausted and unsustainable in their current role. They look at alternatives. Nothing feels quite right. They think maybe they should just tough it out. They feel exhausted again. Repeat.
The problem isn't that there's no good answer. The problem is they're trying to answer the wrong question first.
The question isn't "Should I stay or should I go?"
The real question is: "What do I actually want, and what's standing in the way of that?"
Until you answer that, every option looks like a compromise. Internal roles feel like settling. Industry roles feel like a gamble. Leaving entirely feels terrifying. Staying feels impossible.
You're stuck because you're evaluating options without clarity on what you're optimizing for. Download my self exit interview. You'll find the link at the bottom of this article.
What Happens When You Try to Decide Without Clarity
I see this all the time. A brilliant, high-achieving woman who can analyze complex business problems with precision suddenly can't think straight about her own career.
She knows she's burned out. She knows something has to change. But she doesn't know what.
So she does what feels productive: She networks. She updates her resume. She takes calls with recruiters. She researches companies. She talks to women who've left.
But none of it helps. Because she's gathering data without a framework for evaluating it.
Without clarity on what you actually want, you're just collecting more information to feel confused about.
You end up making decisions based on:
What sounds good in the moment
What other people have done
What feels less scary
What you think you should want
None of those lead to decisions you won't regret.
The Cost of Deciding Without Clarity
Here's what happens when women make career decisions from confusion instead of clarity:
They leave consulting for roles that look better on paper but don't solve their actual problem. They trade travel for long hours. They trade client demands for internal politics. They trade one form of unsustainable for another.
They stay in consulting and grow increasingly resentful. They tough it out, telling themselves it will get better, while watching their health, relationships, and energy slowly erode.
They restructure their roles without understanding what they really need. They negotiate flex arrangements that sound good but don't address the core issue. Then they're frustrated when it doesn't fix anything.
They make panicked exits when they hit a breaking point. They take the first decent opportunity because they can't stand staying one more day. Then they second-guess whether they made the right call.
I've seen all of it. And the pattern is always the same: Decisions made from confusion lead to regret.
Decisions made from clarity lead to confidence.
What Clarity Actually Gives You
When you get clear on what you actually want (not what you think you should want), everything changes.
You stop evaluating every opportunity that comes your way and start filtering for what actually matters to you.
You stop feeling guilty about wanting something different than the path you're on.
You stop second-guessing yourself because you understand your own decision-making criteria.
You can have hard conversations with confidence because you know what you're asking for and why.
You can evaluate trade-offs strategically instead of emotionally.
You can make a decision and stand by it, whether that's restructuring your current role, moving to something new, or leaving consulting entirely.
Clarity doesn't make the decision easy. But it makes the decision yours.
The Conversation You Need to Have With Yourself
Before you talk to HR, your boss, or even your trusted colleagues, you need to have an honest conversation with yourself.
Not the conversation where you list everything you hate about consulting.
Not the conversation where you fantasize about "something better."
The conversation where you get brutally honest about:
What's actually unsustainable and what's solvable
What you're afraid of losing if you stay and if you leave
What you want your next move to give you (specifically, not vaguely)
What trade-offs you're willing to make and which you're not
What you'll regret more in 5 years
These aren't comfortable questions. But they're clarifying.
And clarity is what moves you from "I don't know what to do" to "I know what I need to figure out next."
What Happens After Clarity
Here's what I've seen with the women I coach:
Some get clear and realize they can restructure their current roles in ways that actually work. They negotiate different arrangements, shift to internal positions, or redefine their scope. They stay in consulting, but differently.
Some get clear and realize the problem isn't their specific role. It's the consulting model itself. They leave strategically, protecting what they've built while designing what comes next.
Some get clear and realize they're not ready to decide yet. They need to test assumptions, have conversations, or gather specific information first. And now they know what information actually matters.
All of them move forward. Because clarity creates momentum.
The women who stay stuck are the ones who skip this step. They keep gathering information, talking to people, looking at options - without ever getting clear on what they're actually trying to solve for.
Don't be that person.
Start With Your Self Exit Interview
I've worked with enough women through this crossroads to know which questions actually matter. The ones that cut through the noise and reveal what you need to know to make a strategic decision.
I've turned those questions into a guide: Your Self Exit Interview.
It walks you through 8 critical questions that reveal whether you're making a strategic decision or just running from an uncomfortable situation. Answer them honestly, and you'll know what to do next.
Download Your Self Exit Interview here
Work through it on your own. Sit with the answers. See what becomes clear.
And if you're ready to move from confusion to strategy, let's talk. Book a free consultation.
Because the exit interview you have with yourself matters more than the one with HR. This one determines whether you're making a decision you'll stand by or one you'll second-guess for years.
Your next chapter shouldn't feel like a compromise. It should feel like a choice.
Until next time,
Karin
